Thursday, December 17, 2009

Judge

I've pretty much been working 9-5 everyday this week, so I haven't been at the church a lot. In fact, I really don't think that I've been there more than twice. All my friends down here are all members of Vision, because I don't know anyone outside of Vision.

Well, I guess my coworkers count, but most of them are married adults in their upper 30's or 40's. Anyway, point is that 99% of my friends down here are members of Vision Baptist church (Or Tinity Hill iglesia Bautista, but I only see them on Friday and Sunday)

So if I'm not at the church, I don't see my friends, except for Micah and Alex. And even then, I don't think I saw them at all yesterday. And not seeing your friends, even if for a few days, can change how you interact when you finally do see each other.

Besides that, I've managed to make a bad choice or two this week, and gave satan a bit of an edge to try to throw some guilt on me. And I know I've had problems with beating myself up in the past about my mistakes, and that I kinda did the same thing here, but honestly, it wasn't as bad as it used to be. It didn't totally change my mood, or anything major. I felt like, "Man, I messed up. And it wasn't even worth it. Dummy." Which is a lot, lot nicer than I used to be to myself.

Anyway.

Between bad choices, and not talking to anyone all week, I felt really, really awkward at Vision tonight. I intentionally arrived just as services were starting so I wouldn't have to talk to too many people. And there were a few people who came up to me, and jokingly greeted me as though I was a visitor, as someone they had never seen before, and like it was my first time to Vision. And I know they meant it in jest, but the truth is that I really felt alienated at that moment. By the end of the service, and play practice, I felt fine.

The people of Vision are really, really good people, and I'm grateful to be a member of such an awesome church. Even when I'm a goof for a week or so, they still love me, and treat me like an equal.

I'm really grateful for a church family who accepts me as is, and doesn't judge me.

Pray for Spain. Pray that the Lord would raise up missionaries and native Spaniards to take the gospel to the millions of lost souls in Spain.

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