Pride.

When God answers a prayer, He answers it all the way. I’ve been praying for clarity on what to do in a situation, and today, the Lord answered, and clarified what I’m to do.

It’s not what I want to do, and I’ll have to lay aside my desires and pride, but it’s what needs to be done. And it needs to be done with love and willingness, not hate and a grudge.

But, in the long run, I know that it’s the Lord’s will, and that by giving up my desires, I’ll be so much better off than if I tried to do it myself, and followed my flesh.

But it was amazing how bluntly, and openly, God answered my prayer. Literally, as soon as He worked, I instantly thought of my prayer, and realized He had answered it in that moment. In literally 10 seconds, he answered something I’ve been praying for all week. It literally took no time.

And again, it isn’t fun, but Hebrews 12:11 tells us that it won’t be fun now, but it’ll bear fruit later on down the road.

So I now have a choice, as is always the case with this kind of situation.

I can follow my desires, and more than likely have a terrible outcome, OR I can follow God, and let Him lead me to a beautiful outcome, much better than if I tried to do it myself.

--Pray for Spain. Pray that the Lord would raise up missionaries and native Spaniards to take the gospel to the millions of lost souls in Spain.--

Job 15-21

It's the same as ever, and Job's "friends" are still trying to convince him that he's done something wrong for God to have let destruction place its hand upon Job.

Job again, rightfully, defends his innocence, and rebukes his friends.

Something I found to be rather ironic is that Job, in chapter 19, asks for God's words to be written in a book. How ironic, that the very Words of God are searching for themselves. That the Bible begs for the Bible.

--Pray for Spain. Pray that the Lord would raise up missionaries and native Spaniards to take the gospel to the millions of lost souls in Spain.--

Achan, Jonah, and Lot.

Sometime, when I sit, and just think, I think about which Bible character I would have been. I joke that I'll be Paul, a missionary who walked everywhere, or that I'm related to Goliath. Sometimes, I even think I'm Elijah, a man who was often alone, but never lonely because I have constant communication with God.

Well, it would be nice if I were Paul, or Elijah, but the truth is, I'm more like Goliath. I'm more like someone who is a hindrance to God's work than a help to it.

I don't think I could be classified as a single Bible character, but I really think I'm a lot like Achan, Jonah and Lot.

I knew that the Lord wanted me to come to the OGTC after graduating high school, but I was scared. I didn't think I was ready. I was afraid I wasn't a "good enough" Christian. So, instead of listening to God, I took a track scholarship, and ran from God.

Well, there's my Jonah side. Running from God when He tells me to do something. I followed myself in fear rather than God in faith.

So I went to college to run track, awesome. I thought I was Mr. Big Shot. Gonna be a college track star. Gonna break all kinds of records and be famous or something.

And in the year I spent in college, I showed my Achan side. Achan did what he was told not to do, and he suffured for it, his family, and his people all suffered as well. His sin affected more that just himself.

If you look at the people I hung out with in college, not a one of them got good grades. Not a one of them had a good track season. Not a one of them had a really good year.

If you look at my family, it was total chaos. Granted, some of that predates my birth, but still. There was a fissure, a rupture in my family.

If you look at my old church, nothing really happened. The Lord worked, but, in my eyes, it was a very unfruitful year for Cornerstone Baptist Church.

How is it that my friends, family, and people all suffered for the year I was in college? Becasue I have a strong Achan side. Not only did I suffer because I sinned against God, but those around me did as well.

And finally, I have a Lot side. Lot was a Christian, the Bible calls him "Just Lot" despite his lifestyle. I was saved at the age of 9. I went to college as a saved Christian. I was much like Lot in my time at college. I was surrounded on all sides by sin. I put myself in a position where all I could see, do or think was sin.

Oh, by the Bible talks about :Just Lot: living in sin. It says he was VEXED. He was tormented. He was tortured by the sin. And, without going into too much personal detail, my year in college was a horrible, horrible time. The longer I was there, the worse it got.

However, we know that Jonah escapes the great fish, and Lot is rescued. The Lord allowed me to survive that year in college, and has, more or less, given me a second chance. I am ashamed, looking back, at that year. I wasted time, ran, hurt those around me, and put myself in sin.

I’m slowly, but steadily, forgiving myself for that year, and purposing in my heart to follow God, no matter how scared I may be, or how dim the future is. Redeem the time.


--Pray for Spain. Pray that the Lord would raise up missionaries and native Spaniards to take the gospel to the millions of lost souls in Spain.--

Job 8-14

Chapter 8 starts off with Bildad trying to convinces Job that he's sinned, or is wicked, and that's why God has done this to him. Bildad talks for the whole chapter, and Chapter 9 is Job's rebuttal to Bildad,a s is chapter 10.

In Chapter 11, Zophar starts to talk, and again tries to tell Job that it's his fault these things happened to him. Job answers in chapter 12, and says he's "not inferior" to them, implying their error, and that his friends could learn from beasts and birds (12:7)

Chapter 13 is Job warning his friends to get their acts together, and that they start to understand God truly. And in chapter 14, Job is lamenting in his sorrow, which is rather understandable.

--Pray for Spain. Pray that the Lord would raise up missionaries and native Spaniards to take the gospel to the millions of lost souls in Spain.--

Prayer Cards.

I saw Mark Tolson for the first time last night in exactly two months. We talked for a bit, and I took a look at one of his prayer cards; I think it's an updated one. Anyway.

I was thinking, just a moment ago, what my prayer card will look like. Will my picture be in the center, or the sides? Will it be just me from the waist up, or from head to toe? Will I still be single, or will I have a wife? Kids? Will it be a picture where I'm posed, or will it be a picture of me preaching? What's my prayer card going to look like?

Then I started to think, "Wait a minute. I don't really deserve one. I haven't gone through any training. I'm not like Mark Tolson, or Matt Allen. I'm not a Trent Cornwell or a David Gardner. I'm still in school."

Because, in all honesty, I have a long way to go before I can say I'm ready to be a missionary.

But, as I continued to think about it, I realized that I'll never be ready, and I'll never deserve to be a missionary.

I mean, that the Lord would pick me, out of all the billions of people on earth, to take His holy words to Spain is amazing. There are thousands if not millions of people who are more qualified to take the gospel to Spain, and the rest of the world, than myself. It's very humbling that the Lord would pick me to work for Him, let alone in Spain.

I can't ever study enough to be worthy of being used by God either. I can't ever work hard enough to make Him need me, or so important that He HAS to use me. I'm really just some guy, saved by Christ, who God decided to use.

I feel like I'm trying for something that's "out of my league" with being a missionary. Yet, I know that the Lord has called me to Spain, and as the Lord hath called, so shall I walk (I Cor 7:17)

I don't deserve to be a missionary, let alone have a prayer card, but, for some reason, God decided to use me to be one. It's really humbling, the more I think about it, that God would decide to use me, in spite of my flaws and failures, flesh and weakness, sin and struggles to be a missionary.

It really is.

--Pray for Spain. Pray that the Lord would raise up missionaries and native Spaniards to take the gospel to the millions of lost souls in Spain.--

Job 1-7

Chapters 1-7

To summarize what's happening here, Job had everything. Satan comes and takes, and destroys all of it, save for his wife, because he thinks Job only serves God because God has blessed Job so much.

Job's "friends" show up to comfort him, and sit for seven days in silence as Job mourns. After those seven days, they cannot take it any longer, and begin to speak to Job.

Eliphaz speaks first, and accuses Job of living in sin, and Job rebukes him. Bildad says that Job must not be righteous because God would surely bless the righteous.

--Pray for Spain. Pray that the Lord would raise up missionaries and native Spaniards to take the gospel to the millions of lost souls in Spain.--

Against Satan

The last three days have been completely exhausting, for some odd reason. I'm too tired to blog, but I will say this: When Satan comes against you, don't try to stand in your own power. Jude:9 tells us that even Michael the archangel didn't dare make a railing accusation against Satan, but called upon God to rebuke him.

I wish I would have realized that three days ago. I've been lazy, and let Satan start to bind me again. Nothing too major, but I kinda got comfortable, and thought I was something, and I could stop Satan on my own. What a bad decision.

Anyway. That's that. I'm exhausted. I get to lead Bible study at Scott's on Friday. I'm happy.

--Pray for Spain. Pray that the Lord would raise up missionaries and native Spaniards to take the gospel to the millions of lost souls in Spain.--